| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2005|12:01 pm] |
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| |  chipper | ] |
Hello world! anyway another christmas came and went like they usually do. I spent a lot of time with my family and Dave's family which was nice. Now i have a week of vacation and work and then it's back to school! It seems a little strange to say that i don't go to Salem State anymore but i'm sure i'll get used to it. I have to take two intersession classes for interior design so i wont be behind next semester. It should be fun. Now that i'm not really busy for a while i hope i can FINALLY see some people. I feel like i've been locked in my house for a YEAR with all the stuff, but i'm happy now and relieved finally. so i hope you all had an awesome christmas!
love |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2005|07:28 pm] |
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| | content | ] |
Hello World! it's been such a long time! oh my goodness. I've had this thing for almost two years and how many times have i updated? 10 i think or maybe less than that...anyway
life is good so far...i've decided that i am not going back to salem state in december. It's just not where i want to be...so i'm going to apply to Endicott college...they have an awesome interior design program so hopefully that's what i'll be doing second semester.
My birthday was on Friday...it was a lot better than last years...although it didn't start out that great...it ended wonderfully.
Dave and I are wonderful...it'll be nine months on the 19th...such a long time! but still so much fun. He's started to talk about getting an apartment closer to me after he graduates...we'll see what happens.
I haven't really seen much of my friends lately...i'm not happy about that...this past month or so has been a little crazy with school and then deciding not to go back there...and discussing it with the parentals...but after this week i should be free as a bird for a little while. I haven't talked to Tanya or Beef in a really really really long time. actually there are a lot of people that i haven't talked to in a really long time...
Can't wait till thanksgiving so everyone can come home again...
anyway i should probably do some homework now...
love to you all! |
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| PUPPPPPPYYYYY! |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|01:10 pm] |
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| | chipper | ] |
I GOT A NEW PUPPY! HE'S WICKED CUTE AND FLUFFY!
His name is Dickens after charles lol, and he's a cockapoo so he's half cocker spaniel half poodle!
We still have Jasper, but the two of them aren't getting along well right now, they both have to get used to each other. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 24th, 2005|11:28 pm] |
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| | chipper | ] |
so it's 11:28 on thursday and right now Dave is driving from Chelmsford allllll the way to my house. He's crazy...but thats why i love him!
A ton of stuff has happened since i last updated this thing...i just get too lazy sometimes. but rather than ramble on about my life...you guys should tell me how you are! so go ahead....
comment |
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| the rules of dating according to jcurls |
[Mar. 3rd, 2005|07:18 pm] |
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| | chipper | ] |
Dandie411: then i think i'm going to a movie
Dandie411: but who knows
Dandie411: i don't make the decisions
bigj0031: what a waste
Dandie411: of what?
bigj0031: movies are stupid first dates
bigj0031: all you do is sit there
bigj0031: no talking
Dandie411: it's not really a first date though
bigj0031: its aweful and a waste on the guys money
Dandie411: i have talked to him before
bigj0031: ya but its still the beginning
Dandie411: tis true i guess
bigj0031: u gotta see him in action
Dandie411: what?!?!
bigj0031: not him looking at a screen
Dandie411: what??!?!
bigj0031: steph you think too much about sex, im not talking about that
bigj0031: lol
bigj0031: get your mind out of the gutter
Dandie411: i know you're not talking about that lol
Dandie411: but what the hell are you talking about
bigj0031: then why are you like what!?!?!?
bigj0031: do you listen?
Dandie411: what are you talking about?
Dandie411: do you listen?!
bigj0031: yes
bigj0031: lol
Dandie411: what are we talking about right now
bigj0031: OK
bigj0031: im starting over
Dandie411: good
bigj0031: going to the movies is not good because you dont really get to know your date well since all you are doing is sitting there
Dandie411: right
bigj0031: PLUS, esp on a fri night its gonna be mobbed and its a lot of $$$
bigj0031: too bad you guys dont have a dorm room
Dandie411: ha ha
bigj0031: kuddleing movies are so much better
Dandie411: we could kick you out and use yours
Dandie411: lol
bigj0031: no you really coudldnt , lol
Dandie411: ha ha ha
Dandie411: like i said before though....it's not like i haven't talked to him
Dandie411: it's not like a blind date where i've never met the person before...in that case movies aren't good ideas...but then they also give you something to talk about after the movie
Dandie411: but we don't really have a problem with the talking thing lol
bigj0031: k i gotta go do my work, talk about your problems with someone else, lol, im just saying mine as well not go to a movie whe you can go elsewhere
Dandie411: lol thanks jcurls! i don't have a problem!
Dandie411: have fun tomorrow night
Dandie411: don't mess up
Dandie411: just kidding |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2005|11:21 pm] |
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| |  depressed | ] |
today was a typical day until about 7:00 when i went to the twin's house...
we went to the gym at around 8ish...i hopped on the treadmill and started speed walking...then i PAUSED the thing so i could get off for a minute to switch head phones...when i got back to the treadmill i THOUGHT it was still paused...however i was mistaken...i realized this little fact AFTER I GOT ON THE TREADMILL! so there i was holding on to the damn thing for dear life while me knees are skipping back and forth on the belt. It hurt like hell...but i didn't want to fall on my face cause that would have hurt worse so i eventually fell on the floor in horrific pain...but the twins and i thought it was pretty funny...well until i looked down at my poor knees and saw blood and redness. Now they have bandages on them...it's rather sad.
In less amusing news...when i got home from the twins house my mom said that she cut out an artical from the newspaper for me...and i HAD TO READ IT RIGHT AWAY. the headline read something like "bank teller indicted on charges of laudering". I read further to find out that one of my fellow tellers at the peabody branch had been depositing illegal drug money into an account...i had no idea. Anyway she lost her job...and will hopefully not have to go to jail for 5 years. My parents tried to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal and things like this happen all the time...but they didn't know her, they didn't talk to her...I did. It's awful to think that a person that i think so highly of could be in such horrible trouble. She was trying to protect her son...but it ended up costing her her job and possibly her freedom for a while. I feel so sorry for her...she was never the type of person to do anything like this...we all knew she had problems but i don't know if anyone knew how bad they were. I didn't think i would be as upset as i am but it's really sad. I just hope that everything will get sorted out...without causing anymore damage to her. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2005|02:17 am] |
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| |  loved | ] |
sometimes when you take a second to look outside the box...you find something that you never expected to find...and it's the most amazing feeling in the world!
I never thought i would be this happy again |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2005|10:26 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "I sing for you" from Camp | ] |
so IT'S SNOWING!
I woke up this morning and my little brother was running around like a crazy kid cause he didn't have school this morning. i was very confused cause i wasn't quite awake yet. I still have to work today even though the weather sucks. it takes a lot for a bank to close.
last night nick, jcurls and i went to see "meet the fockers". It was pretty funny, not as funny as the first one. The funniest part of the whole thing was looking around and noticing that EVERYONE WAS ON A DATE! not kidding everyone in the theater was on a date...and then there was me and the boys. it was a little sad but it made it more interesting i guess.
well yet another pointless entry ha ha ha it's ok
have fun in the snow!!!! |
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| really funny cute pickup lines! |
[Dec. 30th, 2004|11:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | chipper | ] |
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"]
... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it and say, "You dropped your nametag!".
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on
the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
"Hey baby how about we go play Marco Polo; In the shower?"
guy-"you got a sewing kit?"
girl-"no, why?"
guy-"cuz im ripped!"
Ask a woman for the time. "10:30? So today is January 10,1999, at 10:30 PM,
thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met
you."
Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of
course not, that would be an incredibly stupid thing to say, wouldn't it?
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead
say no.
I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I'll stop loving
you
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
Let's make like a Fabric softener and Snuggle
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 29th, 2004|06:55 pm] |
i spent an hour and a half talking to my father about how much i hate salem state...well actually we only talked about salem for ten minutes. The rest was us talking about how miserable i have been for over a year. He noticed that i really haven't been happy...and it's true i really haven't been happy but i didn't want to say anything or even to admit that it was true. but for some reason today i realized that if i continue to live like this i will eventually not want to live anymore...
My dad told me to sit and write down everything that i'm feeling so i can try to start to figure things out...so here i am thinking about everything...school...friends...relationships...my future. And all i can come up with is well nothing. For the first time in my life i feel like i have nothing to live for...there is no reason for me to live another day...i can't think of one thing that makes me happy anymore. even the things that i have loved forever don't make me happy...i have nothing anymore.
I can't do this anymore...i can't live waiting around for things to end...and for something to begin. I hate myself and everything that i am going through. I am terrified that one day...very soon...i will just not want to go through life like this anymore. I am so afraid of myself...and i can't handle it anymore.
I haven't talked about this to anyone...and i really had no intention of ever saying anything...everyone has problems so why would anyone want to listen to mine when they have their own to deal with. But my dad said if i didn't say anything i wouldn't get any help..and thats true i guess i wouldn't but i don't know if i want help...not the kind of help that my parents want me to get. I am not ready to admit that i need medication...or even that i need to go to the hospital..which is what would make the most sense right now. That would make it all too real for me to handle...i don't think that i could do that.
I have tried for a long time to find something worth living for...something that i can get excited about just for a second...and i can't come up with anything. I know that to most people this wont make sense...cause to anyone else it would seem that i have a lot of wonderful things in my life...but for some reason i have lost track of them...and now i'm left with nothing.
My dad seemed scared and worried when i told him how i felt...and i guess i can understand why...i would be scared too if my 18 year old daughter told me that she didn't have anything to live for...but i just couldn't hold it in anymore...so now i'm stuck...i don't feel better...i don't feel worse...i just feel nothing but overwhelming sadness...but i've gotten used to it i guess...
but i can only live like this for so long...and i'm slowly beginning to see that i can't do it anymore...i can't live like this...i don't want to and i know i'm not strong enough |
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| I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooo f-ing bboooooooooooooored! |
[Nov. 13th, 2004|08:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bored | ] |
Soooooooooooooooo right now im sitting in the commuter lounge thingy with andy scannell. we don't have a class until 3 so i'm trying to waste as much time as possible doing absolutely nothing at all.
So today was pretty funny cause i broke my pants. HA HA HA i was sitting in intro and i bent over to pick up the pen that i drop every class (usually at the same time too...it's weird) so then i noticed that i didn't have a button on the top of my AE jeans anymore. so i was sitting in class with my pants literally falling off my ass. it got really difficult when i had to walk and hold my pants at the same time. then the cousin, andy and i decided that i needed to go get a new pair of jeans so i didn't have to hold my broken ones anymore. but then i realized that i didnt have my fleet card so i didn't have any money with me. As we were walking in the mall i remembered that there was a fleet branch right across from the mall! so i could go use the teller and get cash! HA HA sometimes i amaze myself with the stupidity. SO then i bought the same pair of jeans that i alr2 (thanks for the 2 andy!) anywho...i bought a replacement pair of jeans and all is well in the world again!!! this is a completely pointless and pretty stupid story but i really have nothing better to do with my time so i thought i would ramble on and on and on....
Next week is thanksgiving...that amazes me to no end...in some ways it feels like i graduated yesterday and in some ways i feel like i've been here for years. I'm really excited that everyone is coming home...but in a way it makes me worried too. We all haven't seen each other for a long time...what if things are the same...they probably wont be...and i don't know how i'll feel about that. i feel kind of stupid cause everyone has left and they're all doing their own thing and i've just been here...like always...doing the same things that i've always done just with different people...and the same people too. i don't know...
ytre (thanks AGAIN andy scannell) ha ha ha ha ha
well i should go to class and learn how to build sets now...
love you allllll! |
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| fuckin birthdays |
[Nov. 4th, 2004|09:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
well today was my birthday...
but it pretty much sucked. I couldn't really tell you why...but it did. i didn't see anyone that i really wanted to see...and the people that i did see didn't remember that it was my birthday.
My dad was pretty pissed the entire day and i didn't get to see them for that long.
i didn't get to see my friends...half of them are gone...and the other half are busy...
It all pretty much sucks |
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| OMG what an amazing night! |
[Oct. 28th, 2004|12:11 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
I never thought i would be saying this but...
CONGRATULATIONS BOSTON RED SOX FOR WINNING THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what an amazing game! One i'll never forget! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 26th, 2004|09:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
i was sitting here watching the red sox but then i had to get up cause it's all making me very nervous!
I feel like i haven't been the nicest person lately. i hate not being in a good mood, but i really haven't been very happy lately. i'm trying extremely hard not to let it effect me but sometimes i just can't help it. Last night was the worst...so today i felt like a bitch.
Halloween is on sunday...i'm pretty excited it should be a lot of fun! i hope!
I want a crush! they're so much fun...and also a little painful, but that's what makes it so exciting. Right now my romantic life is just really really boring!
I can't wait for thanksgiving...i think seeing everyone again will make me feel a lot better. I miss having everyone to talk to...i love my new college buddies...they're really amazing...but there's something about talking to people you've known for a long time.
Today in movement we had to go around the room and say one thing that we appreciate about everyone. It was awesome to hear all the great things everyone had to say about each other. Just to know that there are good things in everyone made me realize that it isn't all bad. I thought it was pretty funny that everyone thinks i'm so classy and sophisticated...most of them haven't heard the burping and the crazy comments yet! ha ha ha! but i'd rather them think something nice that anything else.
thats it for now!
much love |
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| wow it's been forever |
[Oct. 21st, 2004|09:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | content | ] |
HEY!
It's been a really long time so i figured i should update!
last night i had my first paid acting job...it wasn't anything special just walking around in a crazy witch costume getting hit on by old buisness men...but hey i got paid!
college is swell...i really like the freedom...but i wish i lived there. that would be hard for the parents though...and it really doesn't make sense to them if i live a half an hour away...but they don't understand...you miss out on so much if you live at home...so maybe next year.
I feel like i haven't been spending enough time with some people...and i feel horrible about it. over the summer we did everything together and now we're busy and it's extremely sad. i'll try to work on that girls!
I have auditions on monday for next semester. i'm not at all worried about it but i'm sure i'll be really nervous when i get there.
OMG two weeks from today i'm FINALLY LEGAL!!!!!!!! hell's yeah. I'm excited but i'm a little sad that not everyone can be here with me. i'll make sure to take a ton of pictures though.
I miss everyone and i can't wait for you guys to come home...only a month!
i guess that's it for now
much love! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2004|12:52 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | RYAN CABRARA YOU ROCK MY WORLD | ] |
I swear to god everyone i've talked to is drunk! it's like freakin drunken friend central! ha ha ha it's ok though i just think it's funny.
So i was sleeping and then i heard my phone ring at 12:48 in the morning and it was Garret calling me back from earlier...so i was really thinking about not answering but then i felt bad so i picked it up...
I'm gonna warn you all now that this entry will probably not make sense cause it's really late and i'm in that strange state of mind between sleeping and awake so anyway...
Garret called and he asked me what i was doing at 12:48 and i told him that i wasn't doing anything...then he asked if i was drunk and of course i told him no...so naturally i had to ask him if he was drunk and of course he told me no but i'm not sure he sounded a little tipsy maybe...and he was coming from a party at northeastern...anywho im totally rambling about nothing right now...what was i talking about...oh right so Garret told me that he called me yesterday and it didn't come up on my phone so i didn't know that he called and it was just a mess...
Oh i went to the high school today just to say hello to everyone...it was really weird walking down the hallway knowing that there was absolutely no reason for me to be there at all. Everyone seemed really different and tall! i was astounded.
Then i eventually went to the RSE auditions for their next show and that was a little odd too. I saw Bob and Melissa and they were very surprised and excited to see me. So i waited for the twins and Erika to be done with the auditions then we all went to the Rainforest cafe for dinner...it was fun we encountered a shim (or a male/female/i have no idea if it was a guy or a girl) situation i think we finally decided that it was a guy...but anyway ummmmmmmmm....ok im done rambling now...sorry there really was noooo point to this update at all just the fact that i can't sleep! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 17th, 2004|10:35 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | chipper | ] |
I just woke up about twenty minutes ago...
So im awake and a little sleepy too...but i woke up and called my Hilary..cause she is leaving tomorrow so i thought that we should spend some girly time together before she goes.
Last night i said goodbye to kerry...but i know that i will see her soon...and she should be very excited about college and all that comes with it...i'm really excited for her!
I have a wisdom tooth check up today...it's been a week and i still can't chew normal things! So my dentist is going to recieve a severe speaking to! then he'll just give me some medication and i will survive!
I didn't realize this when i started this update but there isn't really a point to it....im just rambling |
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| car rides |
[Aug. 14th, 2004|12:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
I really don't enjoy those lonely car rides home...
It's really the only time when i get to sit alone and ponder over everything that i don't want to ponder over. It only happens at night...when im driving and sitting there listening to whatever is on the radio...just contemplating.
I didn't know it was possible to go through every emotion in a matter of three minutes...but i guess you can. I was driving home from dropping off kerry and i seriously felt everything i could feel between her house and mine. I was excited and sad and scared and worried and happy all at the same time. I think it's because the days are slowly coming to an end...and the beginning of the next stage of life is right around the corner. I'm more prepared now than i was a few months ago...i'm still not completely ready though...and i don't think i ever will be.
It's hard because i know that everything will be fine...a lot of things are going to change...and i really hate that but it's something that I can't avoid...and if nothing changed at all life wouldn't be very interesting and none of us would grow...so it's just the way life is...so i'll have to come to terms with it eventually. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2004|12:43 am] |
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ok so im sitting here in my basement...and above my head is my ceiling which is currently infested with little creatures! i don't know what they are or why they wanted to live in my house but its really quite scary and i DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL. I can hear them running around and throwing things and its very very strange! i don't know what to do! so i think i'll just let them stay for now! at least i know im not alone down here! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2004|12:19 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
its 12:19 and i just got home from one of the most emotionally draining days ever! it wasn't intended to be this way but it turned out to be...unexpectedly...as they usually are.
work wasn't that bad but i fucked up a major thing like two minutes after i got there...and that was just the perfect start. then i just sat there with absolutely nothing to do which gives me time to think...and sometimes thats not a good thing at all!
Then opening night for the Wiz...i was already in a weird mood to begin with...then everything seemed really strange and awkward...it was kind of like i was outside of my body the whole time...and my head was off on the moon...i just wasn't thinking very well...and it showed im my performance...I hate that so much. That strange feeling carried on throughout the rest of the night. I really didn't want to see anyone because i was really disappointed in myself...which happens way too much. I was just really upset and i didn't feel good at all. I'm sorry to everyone who i did and didn't see but i really just didn't have anything to say. and i wasn't exactly in the right state of mind to talk about anything.
A little girl wanted to meet me cause i was "glinda" which made me really really happy. She was soooo cute and she looked soooo excited to meet me! I really like it when what i do touches someone...even if it is only because i look like someone in a movie wearing a really puffy pink dress!
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow i think i'm just really drained...i need a lot of sleep and a lot of just relaxation without worrying about anything...woooooo....it should be an interesting couple of days. |
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